This New Life

Absolutely love this photo of us in our new hood. We got together with Just Kidz Studio for some new family photos in our new city and I love them. Read more about them here and a discount code for a family photo shoot too.

NYC has a very special place in my heart, my time here after college was a very soul finding, liberating time. But it would be silly not to mention the anxiety that comes with our new city, with a child in kindergarten (away from me all day for the first time!) or simply raising babies anywhere in this country during this time of turmoil, hate and violence.

Being a parent in this incredible diverse and exciting city that never sleeps is by far the biggest challenge I've had to overcome.

I know we should choose to make a difference and to NOT live in fear but last week with a bomb threat so close to our new home and to Zoe's school, I was left shooken up. I literally was sick to my stomach to think of my sweet almost 5 year old being somewhere else scared, perhaps confused, without me to explain or for someone else to have the care of my child in their own hands. It's just all so terrifying. I kept Zoe home and embarrassingly wrote an email to her teacher explaining that I didn't feel comfortable with sending her in.

And then I was reminded of something my mom has always said, "from the moment you become a mother until the end of your time on earth you will worry and all you can do is change what you can, hope for the best and trust your instinct". So I am writing here to say that sometimes YOU have to do what YOU feel is right. Trust that mama lion heart of yours and know that whatever you are feeling, whatever you are going through, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There is someone out there doing the same.

This series of posts on what I am feeling, going through in pure joy to heartbreak and even just anxiety is in hopes that I can help someone feel less alone in this journey called motherhood, (and even those of you that are way before motherhood and beyond) if you have something you'd like me to touch on then please do write me.

xoxox

Natalie

#mamasdiaries #family

Dear Mama,They are different.

Hey hey lovely mama.

I don't know about you but this Monday crept up on me. But I got this and I know you do too. T

These are some photos from our newborn shoot with my talented friend Kristine. Guys, there sure is something about being photographed PP by someone you are friends with and feel comfortable with. Zoe was a NiCu preemie born during flu season so we didn't get to do these photos so I cherish these. Cherish this moments of my first days of mama of two.

My sweet girl turns 1 tomorrow and man have I shed a few tears. There are moments that I find myself letting that mama guilt creep in, thinking I could do more, and worse comparing but I am going to shove it all aside, and remind myself what a little miracle she is and let her be.

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Dear sweet worried mama.

This sweet babe isn't rolling over, crawling, walking or talking when your first did? Milestones are a bit different, are they? This sweet baby gets a lot less one on one time? This sweet baby get's a lot more of the over tired, super frustrated mama? I know, I know. This little baby is different and gets a whole different mama.

I am here to tell you a little something about this baby and this mama looking back at you in the mirror. Here to tell you that man oh man those tired eyes looking at you are much more wise. Here to tell you that the heart right by that sweet sleeping babies hand has grown two or three times it's normal size. I am here to remind you that it is so hard but you got this mama.

Just remember this, this little baby gets so much more love, from a bigger family. This little baby gets to learn things your other babies didn't. From a sibling. This sweet angel baby get's to have a mama that has already been there, done that and worried about it all. This sweet babe is their own person and no matter how many eyebrows are raised, they are doing just fine. They are going to go at their own pace and that is ok.

And if they need more help. If they learn a bit differently? If the obstacles are different... What if if if. Well you will tackle each of those things the best you can, you will seek advice and support. You will lean on your village and love hard on that sweet babe just the same way you have done with the rest.

But mama, don't you dare fret. Don't you dare let that guilt set it. That baby is smothered in love and that is half the battle. They are different and that is more than ok. It's the way it should be.

And I hope you feel all sorts of love from this exhausted mama of an almost one year old.

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Hoping that in sharing this it helps a mama or two. :)

xoxoxo

Natalie

PS, if you are in the are and looking for a talented family photographer shoot me a note. I'm happy to connect you with Kristine.

#mamasdiaries #mamathought #mama #babynumbertwo #advice #photographer

Reset In The New Year

Hello there my friends.

Here's too hoping this holiday season was filled with whatever you had hoped for and/or needed.

For us there was a lot of hibernating because winter has arrived in New England, a lot of movies and fort building +some cleaning and organizing. Maybe not as much as I had wished for but anyone else feel like less gets done when dadda is home? Seriously though, we all just want to veg out together when we have him home!

We are so thrilled on what is to come this new year. There is something about a new year, setting goals and hitting that reset button. This month is being designated to what resetting actually means to me and the goals I have made.

Actually I will have to say that the last 90 days have been about resetting for me. Thanks to Rachel Hollis and her motivation to make the last 90 days of the year count. Here are the 5 top "buckets" I have started and will continue to work on in the new year; plus my biggest goal.

1. Stop Pinning and Do. This goes to so many things, crafts, activities, outfit, home decor and organization. I have started decluttering so much of my life that allows me to actually live the life that I have hoped for rather than just pin it. Hello organized linen closets, a closet I (almost ) love everything in, healthy meal making (not just for the babies!!) and work projects I am passionate about! I want to work on less complaining, and feeling anxiety of "so much to do" and just keep tackling one thing a day. One little corner. One drawer. One closet. Because in the end it adds up to a lot more than wasted energy of wishing it looked better/different.

2. Be present. Shoot this is a forever work in progress but scheduling time for things will be my start. Yes this means scheduling actual time for fun activities, homemaking, kiddo things, date nights and work deadlines (for both the blog and now Beautycounter!) - this will allow for me to be completely present for whatever I am working on, rather than my mind racing and writing my 75th to-do list in one day. It will also help me create a bit more balance every day.

3. Read more. I use to say I wanted to read more non-parenting books but lets me honest that is the stage I am in right now, so there may be more parenting books on my nightstand than I care to admit but I have also picked up a few about nutrition for babies, children and mamas, one on essential oils, cook books and a few fun books (maybe starting a book club too!). I also want to make sure I am making time for material on my "jobs", like blogging photography and now the non-toxic skin care and makeup world. Filling my bucket with knowledge is so exciting to me and I hope exciting for when I get to share with you.

4. Loving the body I have. Usually this would say, work out more or be active every day, do yoga or whatever but I'm actually going to try something a little different this year. As I continue to lose the baby weight and work on toning my body (with cardiologist approval first!) I would like to work on loving the body I have at the moment. So f'ing hard, isn't it? I want my girls to look in the mirror and love what they see. I want them to be less obsessed with what people see or what they are suppose to look like and just love themselves, put good foods in their bodies and treat themselves well. So it's about time I stopped faking the whole I am beautiful the way I am and started believing it. Because this body created two little miracle babies and I owe it a little respect.

5. Make something. I created less recipes, less handmade things and crafted less throughout the year (and pretty much crammed it into the end of the year). to be honest sleeping so much less with a new baby killed any type of inspiration and creativity I use to have. this year I'd like to do one thing a week. Be it a recipe or gift or craft. I'd like to experiment more with essential oils, natural healing and recipes too. So definitely be on the look out for more handmade!

(double microphone // guitar // maracas // baby piano )

So there you have it, five buckets I will be concentrating on and implementing during this month of reset. Now tell me what are you concentrating on? Would you want a weekly update on this, where we could hold each other accountable? I would love to hear what you are concentrating on this year, so please drop me a line in the comments or DM me!

Cheers to a new year my friends, because if we put the work in, it could be the best year yet.

xoxo

Natalie

(PS here's to hoping that we can capture more of our dance parties in 2018 b/c this is what I want to remember about life with my ladies!)

#mamasdiaries #goals #newyear